How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's paint friendship bongs
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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