What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
