he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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