We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
