Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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