dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
