i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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