How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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