Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm jealous of your bromance
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize