Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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