i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
