I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
