I think im going to throw up on grandma
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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