We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
