I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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