i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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