i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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