What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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