I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
