Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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