You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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