she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
