Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize