The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
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hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
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you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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