I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
