Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We had sex on a dog bed..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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