8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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