In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize