i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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