no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
