I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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