hell yes lets make some ravioli
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
