I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
