Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
