My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
