Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
