my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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