i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Houston, we have a squirter
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
