Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
