i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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