As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
