My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
do nipples grow back?
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