New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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