Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
