Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
