You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
