I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
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I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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