I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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