She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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