Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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