he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
