You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
