He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize