we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
