that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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