Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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