Someone shit on the floor
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
