you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize