The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
