So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
