And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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