1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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