thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
How external is "for external use only"?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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