omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
