her vagine was all disorganized.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize