worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
