I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
