I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
