Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize